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I really do apologize for barging in like this, especially now that I know you are naked so much. That would appear to be a detail, perhaps the only detail, that Helen didn’t mention.”“What’s on your mind? How can we help?”“I have been thinking for some time how I am going to handle my property and livestock and the house. As I told Helen, I don’t want it to go to my c***dren. They will sell the land and probably to a developer since there would be more money in that. I will leave them whatever money I have, but I will not leave the land. I have had thoughts over the past year but it was Helen who spurred me to take action.”We both looked at her wondering what she might have done. “I didn’t do or say anything about those issues.”“Not exactly true, c***d. You have a pure soul, dear. Which has to be a puzzle given how you grew up. How is it that you manage to be like this with that baggage? Anyway, what Helen did do was reinforce to me how important the land was. She said she has lost. It was quite stimulating to flow over Digital Underground beats from “The Humpty Dance” or Tone Lōc’s “Funky Cold Medina” with a bar full of Hoosiers bobbing their heads to the rhythm of the music. After one of my more theatrical performances of “The Humpty Dance” (complete with three drunk chicks behind me chanting “do me, baby” during the chorus), the bar MC summarized my exhibition by announcing over the speaker system, “He’s really white but I’m telling you, that guy’s got soul!” Toward the end of the summer, I became a barroom regular where I often rapped karaoke jingles for the drunken hoards of Indiana natives. I typically received standing ovations, complete with hoots and hollers, for my stunning wigger demonstrations. Little did I realize at the time, my karaoke gigs garnered the attention of several wanton housewives over the summer months, one of whom took a quick liking to me. While performing the chorus of “Funky Cold Medina” one night, I took.
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